The Grace of Social Support
Social support has been linked with physical and psychological health in numerous studies (Cohen & Willis, 1985; Helgeson, 2002). Research also demonstrates the relationship between giving to others and levels of happiness (Diener & Seligman, 2004). And yet, many people find asking for and accepting help can bring up feelings of shame, guilt and inadequacy. Asking for help from others can be particularly troubling in Western society which emphasizes individuality and independence as cultural values. It is both difficult and necessary to be able to receive help from others, particularly when crisis strikes in your life.
In my practice I often see people in a state of crisis who have recently encountered extreme stressors. Central to early crisis intervention is helping my clients build and nurture robust support systems. I thought I would highlight the benefits of social support and concrete ways to offer and ask for support.
What is Social Support?
The National Cancer Institute defines social support as “a network of family, friends, neighbors, and community members that is available in times of need to give psychological, physical, and financial help” (www.cancer.gov). Social support can be emotional such as offering empathy and encouragement; instrumental such as help with chores/tasks; and informational such as offering advise or help with decision making.
Benefits of Social Support:
Reduce rates of depression, anxiety, and PTSD following crisis
More active coping during crisis
Increased resilience
Enhanced sense of belonging
Improved health behaviors
Ways to ask for support:
Choose people you trust to ask for help
Be specific about what would be helpful
Be honest about what would not be helpful
Remember that people in your life want to support you
Be a supportive friend to others
Join a support group for education and social support
Build connections in the community
Ways to offer support:
Be a supportive listener and offer empathy and encouragment
Organize a meal train (www.mealtrain.com)
Help with transportation
Offering to babysit
Accompanying friends to Dr’s appointments
Grocery shopping
Walking the dog or caring for pets
Taking out and bringing in the trash
Gassing up the car
Cleaning the house or hiring a cleaning service
Scheduling a masseuse to come to the home
Volunteer with community organizations
During these volatile times building community and social support is more important than ever. While it feels risky to build social support networks, particularly in the post-Covid world, it is essential to mental health and wellness. Receiving and giving help in times need cements the social bonds that help us to thrive in our lives.
REFERENCES
Cohen, S., & Willis, T.A. (1985). Stress, social support, and the buffering hypothesis, Psychological Bulletin, 98, 310-357
Diener, E., & Seligman, M. (2004). Beyond Money: Toward an Economy of Well-Being, Psychological Science in the Public Interest, 5 (1), 1-31.
Helgeson, V. S. (2002). Social support and quality of life. Quality of Life Research, 12 (1), 25-31
Ozbay F, Johnson DC, Dimoulas E, Morgan CA, Charney D, Southwick S. Social support and resilience to stress: from neurobiology to clinical practice. Psychiatry (Edgmont). 2007 May;4(5):35-40. PMID: 20806028; PMCID: PMC2921311.